Navigating Christmas, your way

Christmas is often painted as a time of joy, togetherness and celebration. But as Leah, Kavya and Melissa (Mel) from South Lincolnshire Rural Primary Care Network (PCN) explored in their second Mental Health Podcast – Navigating Christmas - the festive season can also bring stress, loneliness, grief and overwhelm.

What comes through powerfully in their podcast is a simple truth: Christmas is deeply personal, and wellbeing at this time of year depends on being able to do it your way.

Whether you’re navigating a packed calendar, tricky family dynamics, spending the day alone, or carrying grief, the message is clear - personalised approaches to care and support matter more than tradition, expectation or doing what you think you “should” be doing.

CLICK ON THE IMAGE BELOW to listen to Leah, Kavya, and Mel's 'Navigating Christmas' discussion.

Managing expectations and the pressure to please

One of the biggest challenges Leah, Kavya, and Mel discuss is the pressure that builds up in the run-up to Christmas. For Mel, having a large, geographically spread family turns the season into a logistical and emotional juggling act.

“Trying to keep everybody happy and meet expectations is quite a stress… it takes a bit of the joy away, really.”

This pressure often comes from competing priorities and unspoken expectations, both from others and from ourselves. Christmas can quickly become about performance: seeing everyone, buying the right gifts, cooking the perfect meal. Leah reframes this, reminding listeners not to lose perspective.

“It is just a jumped-up Sunday roast.”

This simple line becomes a recurring anchor in the podcast. Stripping Christmas back to what it really is can help reduce the sense that everything has to be perfect.

A person-centred approach here means recognising your limits, naming what feels manageable, and letting go of the idea that there is a single “right” way to do Christmas.

The power of saying no, without guilt

Learning to say no is a recurring theme of the podcast, especially when Christmas feels overwhelming. Saying no doesn’t mean rejecting people forever; it often just means “not this time”.

Leah shares her experience as a parent of a child with additional needs:

“Last year was the first year that we said no a lot… we needed to take it at our own pace and do it our own way.”

What made the difference was clarity and confidence. When boundaries were communicated honestly, people were more understanding than expected. This is a powerful reminder that person-centred support often starts with self-advocacy - explaining what you need and trusting that it’s valid.

Mel: “I do know people that say yes to everything, and they literally burn themselves out.”

Protecting your energy, whether that means fewer visits, shorter days, or quieter evenings, isn’t selfish - it’s good sense.

Tricky relatives and emotional boundaries

Most families have at least one person who can make gatherings feel uncomfortable. Whether it’s blunt comments, unrealistic expectations, or unpredictable moods, these interactions can linger long after the day is over.

Kavya shares a painful example of a relative making comments about another's weight at Christmas:

“It really stuck with her… months later she said, ‘I can’t believe she said that to me.’”

Rather than trying to change people who are unlikely to change, the conversation focused on coping strategies. One standout tool is the phrase:

“Thank you for your opinion.”

It’s simple, assertive, and closes the conversation without escalating it.

Leah also introduces a powerful metaphor drawn from Buddhist psychology: if someone offers you words you don’t want, you don’t have to accept them.

“If I say unkind words to you and you don’t want them… who do those words belong to? …That person.”

This reframing helps people protect their emotional boundaries, a crucial element of person-centred wellbeing support.

Decompression, sensory support and self-soothing

Christmas can be noisy, busy and overwhelming, especially for people with sensory sensitivities, anxiety, or smaller “social batteries”. Leah, Kavya, and Mel stress the importance of planning for decompression.

“What am I going to do to decompress on the day?”

Their suggestions are practical and personal: stepping outside, going for a walk, making “tactical use of the bathroom” for breathing space, or carrying an “emergency soothe bag”.

Sensory tools are highlighted as particularly effective:

“Smell has a really good relationship with the emotional centre of the brain.”

Whether it’s a favourite perfume, a photo you love, or a fidget toy, these small, personalised supports can make a big difference when emotions start to escalate.

Social batteries, neurodiversity and doing what works

A key strength of this podcast conversation is its acknowledgement that people experience stimulation very differently.

“We all have a social battery… some of us thrive from that level of stimulation. Some of us have a much smaller social battery. Whatever your social battery is, that’s OK.”

Mel speaks openly about finding prolonged social interaction exhausting, while Leah highlights how noise can be particularly difficult for her son, who has additional needs.

“Nobody is expecting my son to be able to deliver more than he’s capable of.”

This is person-centred support in action: adapting expectations to the individual, rather than forcing people to adapt to the event.

When Christmas is quiet: alone, but not lonely

For Kavya, Christmas looks very different. With family in India, the festive season in the UK can bring feelings of loneliness.

“Seeing all of you talking and hyping it so much… that does make me feel a bit left out.”

Yet Kavya’s approach shows how structure and intention can transform the day. She creates her own rituals: Christmas films, cosy pyjamas, vegetarian Indian food, reaching out to friends.

“There’s a difference between being alone and being lonely.”

Having a loose plan - meals, movement, connection - is framed as protective, particularly against low mood.

“If we do nothing… we really are creating the perfect recipe for depression.”

Personalised wellbeing here means recognising what you need emotionally and building a day that supports that, even if it looks nothing like a traditional Christmas.

Living with loss and honouring legacy

The final theme explored by the podcast is bereavement, with care taken not to minimise the complexity of grief. Christmas can intensify feelings of loss, whether the bereavement is recent or long-standing.

Rather than “moving on”, Leah talks about “living with the legacy” of someone who has died.

“How did that person change you? And are you still doing those things?”

Honouring someone’s memory might mean a toast, watching their favourite programme, or creating a small ritual that keeps them present in your heart. These acts are deeply personal and can provide comfort when absence feels most acute.

Conclusion: Kindness, planning, and permission

Across this podcast, one message stands out: be kind to yourself.

Christmas doesn’t have to be busy, loud, traditional, or joyful to be valid. It just has to be survivable - and, ideally, shaped around your needs.

“Whatever shows up for you this Christmas, we need to be accepting and kind to ourselves.”

Person-centred approaches to care and support aren’t a luxury; they’re essential. By setting boundaries, planning ahead, using coping strategies, and letting go of unrealistic expectations, it’s possible to navigate Christmas in a way that protects wellbeing.

And if all else fails, remember:

“It’s just a jumped-up Sunday roast.”