Our Shared Agreement Foundation 4: Conversations with and not about people
Relationships are built through conversation. The quality of those conversations shapes trust, understanding, and the ability to work together.
Foundation 4 is about making sure people are actively involved in conversations about their lives, their care, and their future.
This means that together we:
Recognise the importance of active listening and having time to make choices
Strong relationships depend on listening, not rushing, and creating space for people to reflect and decide what’s right for them.
Do what we say we will do, in an environment of openness and honesty
Trust grows when communication is clear and consistent, and when actions match words.
Offer information, knowledge, and skills
Relationships are stronger when people have the information and confidence they need to take part in decisions.
Moving forward together
The difference between talking about someone and talking with them is the difference between:
- Disconnection and trust
- Assumption and understanding
- Process and relationship
Foundation 4 therefore, encourages all of us to:
- Prioritise real conversations over processes
- Involve people fully in decisions
- Build trust through honesty and openness
When conversations improve, relationships improve—and everything else follows.
Bringing Foundation 4 to life in Lincolnshire: Beth's story
"I’ve been a carer for my mum since I was 15, after a car accident turned all of our lives upside down.
It was a really tough time. I ended up leaving school and felt completely alone, like I was carrying everything with no support.
Eventually, we found out what help we were entitled to, and slowly, things began to get better.
Feeling listened to - and sharing my knowledge and experience - through co-production
When I was 20, I heard about something called co-production and was invited to share my experience as a carer.
I was told that my story could help shape better services in Lincolnshire, so that others wouldn’t have to feel as isolated as I had.
Now, being part of the carers group, surrounded by people who truly understand, has been life-changing. It feels good to know that by sharing what I’ve been through, I’m helping to make a difference."
What Beth's story shows us
Beth's story shows that:
- Being involved in conversations builds trust, agency and commitment
- When people are truly involved, they feel more confident and in control
- Decisions are better when they are shared
Care becomes something we shape together, not something that happens to people.
